| i'm completely lost. |
[14 Apr 2008|11:41pm] |
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i'm chilling. i'm high. stuffy nose. i'm hot. pounding head. dizzyness. ache.
can't sleep. i'm sure those have something to do with that. &the fact that i'm completely done with everyone.
1)why is it that "friends" feel the need to talk behind their "friends" back? honestly, if you have a problem with me, come to me. you are creating more of an argument by keeping shit from me. &flat out, you look like an ass. grow up, high school was five years ago. get over it.
2)why is it that when my boyfriend is in pain or sick i'm there taking care of him, no questions asked. but when the tables are turned, he can't do the same. honestly, he acts like he doesn't even care. i think this is the second or third time i have been deathly sick &he blows me off to go play video games with his buddy. right now, i feel the need to take back all the stuff at ikea ¬ even consider moving out together because this is just ridiculous. i can't even count on my boyfriend to just be there for me. i'm not expecting roses or soup or anything. &thats why i can't sleep is because he is not here with me. but i need to start getting used to it because things are going to change quickly. i wish i knew he cared about me, maybe he does, but he has a fucking god damn hard time showing it. i miss surprises. i guess now i just like giving them because i like to see my bf smile &i'm used to the cards never turning. for once, i want to be loved/cared for. its time to care about me &only me &what my needs &wants are.
3)my aunt officially got fired from meijer today. after being employed there for 26 years ¬ having not one single write up, she decides one day to beat some lesbians ass &she gets fired. wait, she had to wait 8 months before she found out she got fired.
4)having nervous breakdowns at work. it's getting worse by the day/week/month. i have one foot out the door to get the fuck out &go to florida. i guess all i need now is that push out of the door.
5)having nervous breakdowns/panic attacks just because i can't take life right now. from work, work, friends, family, boyfriend, economy, school, etc. i don't know how much more i can handle this.
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| eek. |
[29 Jan 2008|12:33am] |
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this week needs to go by faster. geez. seriously, i hate mondays &tuesdays. wednesday's aren't bad because i actually get to spend some time with my friends &with the bf since i'm off thursday. today dragged by soooooo bad &i know tomorrow is going to be way worse. wednesday night, get here fast!<3
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| ello stranger. |
[25 Jan 2008|01:09am] |
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so, this week has been absolutely stressful..
but lets first talk about sunday, (which for those of you who didn't know or live in a warmer state), was the coldest damn day of the year. seriously, i can NOT remember the last time it was this cold in michigan. anyways, me &dave went to the auto show in the freezing cold. it was okay. i wasn't too impressed. the only thing i drooled over was the BABY BLUE lamborghini &the new camero.<3
but besides my awesome weekend freezing my tatas off. work has been so insane this week being short 2 receptionists. we have our review the middle of february &if i don't get ATLEAST a dolla raise, i'm finding myself a better job. fuckkk that. i don't mind busting my ass but i need to be making more than what i am, espically since i do EVERYTHING plus more.
tomorrow is friday, thank god. i work 8-6:30ish tomorrow at the vets &going straight to lecom after for job #2. hopefully nothing too stressful. then me &the girls are going out to celebrate krista's new job &ashley's clinicals. i'm so proud of them. [=
in other news.. i decided i'm quiting my second job at the end of this summer. &the reason for that insanity is because christina is going back to college. &she is not going back to wcccd. which makes her very happy. ok, i'm going to stop talking in 3rd person right now. so, i'm either going to..
a. the art institutes in novi
1. fashion design
2. interior design
b. itt tech
1. criminal justice
i haven't decided &i'm really not worrying about it that much at this very moment. i'm going back this fall so i'll have a month or two to decide so i can get my bills &shit together &paid off. both schools are VERY expensive but really, i don't give a shit. that's what loans are for.
but time for sleepies. work in 6 hours. nightski.
xoxo.
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| another long weekend. |
[20 Jan 2008|03:23am] |
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long time no see.
i actually did keep up with this bad boy last summer, but i was so busy that i COMPLETELY forgot all about my live journal. not that anyone ever reads this stupid shit anyways, it's relaxing to just type random shit.
work has been absolute hell. speaking of absolute, i could really use some right about now. ok sorry.. alcoholic christina taking over keyboard. i have been working 6 days at both jobs for the past 2 weeks &i don't think i will get a break in a few months. i wouldn't complain so much if i wasn't gone for like 12 or more hours a day. that is including driving time, lunch &time at both jobs. &my second job, i NEVER know when i'm leaving. i'm just tired of people think that i'm complaining for attention but honestly, that not even the case. i'm physically &emotionally drained. i'm so fucked up now, that when i do finally curl up in bed, i have to force myself to go to bed. my head is constently spinning. i just need to figure out what my plans are for next year. if i actually want to suck it up &stay in michigan. or move to florida &start over. i can't keep working 2 jobs ¬ go to school. i need my second job to put gas in my car. yes, i know i'm in debt. i have NO more credit cards open &i'm doing a fucking damn good job on paying them off. granted i'm still in debt with my car but i'm ok with that because seriously, who isn't? how can i go to school &work as much as i do? &have time to sleep? it is impossible. i need a better paying job. i love my job, don't get me wrong.. but i fucking run circles around everyone up at the front desk. &i'm really sick of people saying that all we do is just sit on our asses &answer the phone. HAHAHA! that's a fucking joke. yeah, when i first started there, i thought it was that easy. but we have 3 vets, 5 tech, 3 assistants, 2 kennel girls &4 receptionists &over 7,500 clients. on a typical work day, two doctors work. they both have 15 min appt slots completely booked &double booked EVERYDAY. we check them in, we get body weight on dogs, we take them in rooms, we answer phones, we get up food, we get up medications, we write all the surgery paper work. we are pretty much nurses/recptionists. or as my name tag says "client relations specialist". not that i EVER wear that thing anyways. but pretty much, we are like guinea pigs to the vets. but i do like my job. it keeps me on my feet most of the day. keeps me busy. time goes by so fast. &its definatly a challange EVERYDAY. gahhh. now, my second job, any two year old can do that, blindfolded. it's a piece of cake. i just hate it when my disconnect guys don't come in until 8 or 9. but sometimes, they have so many jobs, they can't help it. oh well, thats life right? big disappointment.
enough about bitching about work. krista, nate, dave &i are going to the auto show tomorrow. i'm so stoked because i haven't been there in a few years &i remember drooling over the cobalts &look at who FINALLY has one. ME! oh, &the bf. lol. we are lame, we know. so i'm excited. &me &steph are ordering our bridesmaid dresses tomorrow before krista puts the smack down on us. or shoots us with one of nates guns. since we both know how to shoot guns now. [= next week at work is going to be a little less stressful, i have thursday off &hopefully getting some new tires &rims for my car. &sleeping in would be a definate plus. my birffday is coming up in a few weeks. i can't believe it's here already. the big TWO THREE. i'm an old lady. hah. but my mom told me today that she is getting me my first tattoo. it's going to be gnarly. &we are going to CANADA saturday night. i have an outfit planned out &we are going to be the sexiest bitches in the club. derrr.
i need sleep. i need to be with my bf. in my bed. cuddling. keeping me warm. telling me everything is going to be ok. right?
ily.<333
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